Before coming to campus, start to open a channel of communication with your student about their communication expectations. Talk with your student about any concerns they have about starting college—and feel free to share any you might have, too. You may be able to work through some of these concerns and help validate or alleviate them.
It will also be helpful to discuss plans to communicate while your student is away. It is great to set up a schedule for calls or texts throughout the semester. Know that when the realities of a college schedule set in, these plans will inevitably change. Be open to what your student needs and can give you, even if it is just a funny meme they saw while walking to class.
There will be times when your main role in a conversation is just to listen. Your student may need to vent. Find out if they want your help to solve an issue or if they need you to be a sounding board. Think about the situation from their perspective and try to reflect back what you hear without judgment or an agenda. Talking through the issue may help them settle emotions and see the bigger picture more objectively.
Throughout the year, check in with your student about the experience. College is about a lot more than just what happens in the classroom. Ask about friends, sports and clubs, and any hobbies that they may develop. Be excited about their plans and interests, and celebrate the little things with them. Be open to listen to any mistakes they have made and encourage them to learn from these by setting a plan to avoid them in the future. Remember, no matter how mature or intelligent your student is, everyone navigates adjustments as they orient to living on their own.
“Communication is key, especially through a big transition like this. It’s important to establish with your student how much you want to stay in touch and to always give them support, but be sure to maintain healthy space and boundaries so that they can come into their own. Maintaining open communication is important to making sure everyone is on the same page through this tough transition.”
—Chris, Orientation Leader, Class of 2027